


Breathe

by Jinkisducklings



Series: Jjongsmonth [22]
Category: SHINee
Genre: Guard AU, Jinki has this power that makes an intimate sexual relationship with someone he loves impossible, Jinki is a wizard, Jonghyun is a lithle or someone who can block magic and use it against the caster, M/M, Wizard AU, anyway, he doesnt want to hurt Jonghyun, he loves him too much, jonghyuns his guard, slight angst, slight forbidden love, this is Jonghyun making a move and Jinki being against it because of said power, this is a huge au that Ive worked on for quite a while but
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-30 11:20:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17223065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jinkisducklings/pseuds/Jinkisducklings
Summary: Someone’s breath. That heavy breathHow can I see through that?Though I can’t understand your breathIt’s alright I’ll hold you





	Breathe

              The lowered living area was full of pillows and blankets. Jonghyun was sitting up on the marble floor edge, bare feet swaddled in a twist of plush warmth below. In his hand was a wine glass, held as if a too tight grip could shatter it to pieces. He gazed warmly at the man beside him over the rim of his glass as he sipped at it. Jinki was laughing quietly, eyes crinkling as he held his blanket around his shoulders tighter. “Oh come now Jonghyunie, you must find it amusing.” 

              “Oh, I apologize.” He sat his drink behind him a few feet, stretching back a little, before returning to where he was sitting upright. Smoothly, he lifted his hand to push a large bit of hair behind Jinki’s ear. “I was being distracted.” 

              “It’s not a very good idea for my guard to be so distracted while on duty.” Jinki turned slightly, leaning his head on his palm with his elbow pressed against the edge of the living space. “What has you so distracted, Jonghyun?” 

              Jonghyun pushed off the edge, settling into the pillows and blankets beneath him. He turned a little, lifting up onto his knees, waddling to get closer. Then slowly, his hands found the curve of Jinki’s jaw. His eyes remained open, slowly closing as he leaned in closer, before closing completely as their lips pressed together for the first time. He pulled away quickly, but he only got a breathes distance away before Jinki was closing the space between them to kiss him deeply. He pushed his fingers into Jonghyun’s hair, curling tightly in the dark strands. 

              But as quick as it deepened, the kisses abruptly stopped as Jinki pulled away roughly. His chest was rising quickly as he turned away, staring at his hands in his lap. “We can’t do this.”

              “Why not?” He almost hissed. “Because of your power? I’m not afraid of your power. I never have.”

              “You should Jonghyun.” Jinki whipped toward him, eyes hard and focused. “With one touch and a loss of control I could take away your free will. You would become my mindless slave, only wishing to please me and nothing of what makes you the man I love. It doesn’t matter how I feel about you or how much I want this. I care too much for you to sentence you to a life where we can never be together intimately.”

              “You love me?”

              At the gentle, breathless words, Jinki softened, smiling warmly at the sweetness of the man before him. “That’s what you caught in that?”

              “Don’t I have a say in how I want to live my life?” His hand laid gently on the back of Jinki’s neck, playing with the end of his hair. “Is my love not worth it?”

              “It is, but I’m not worth your free will.” Jinki’s teeth were clenched tightly just before he continued. “I learned about the confessing power when I was thirteen years old Jonghyun and have lived with the knowledge that I’d never have the romantic relationship I want.”

              Jonghyun frowned deeply, “Romance, love, isn’t just about sex Jinki. If I never get to have that part of you for the rest of my life I’ll be just as happy.”

              “Oh, I know that love isn’t based on sex, but” Jinki cupped his cheek, caressing him with his thumb as his eyes moved across his facial features. “I also know how much I’m attracted to you and how difficult it’d be to stop myself from taking that part of you.  I love you Jonghyun and perhaps I always will, but I’m sorry. I can’t risk that.”

              His hands fell from Jonghyun’s cheeks as he pushed up onto his knees, pressing a kiss to Jonghyun’s forehead before standing up completely. His wrist was caught as he moved to go across the way. When he looked back at Jonghyun, his gaze was warm, but Jinki couldn’t place the swirling emotions on his expression. “Before you walk away from me and this conversation is dropped and forgotten, humor me with answering a few questions. Please.”

              “Alright.”

              “Do you love me?”

              “We already-”

              “Humor me.” Jonghyun quickly interrupted him.

              Jinki pressed his lips together into a thin line for a moment before sighing, “Yes. Very much.”

              “Do you trust me?”

              “Of course.”

              Jonghyun managed to stand up and keep Jinki’s wrist in his grip. His palm was rough with years of sword work as he moved it over Jinki’s jaw, lifting his gaze to meet his own. Jinki’s eyes were glossy, tears threatening to spill at any moment. “Do you believe me when I say I am not afraid of you?”

              “I do.” Jinki gave a little smile, “You’ve never made me feel ashamed of my power.”

              “What I’m getting at is that we love each other and I trust you. I know how hard you work to control your magic, especially that gift. I know you wouldn’t hurt me.” He gently squeezed Jinki’s hand after catching it in his own. “I knew who you were, what you were, the moment I accepted this job, and I still fell in love with you. I won’t force you to have a relationship with me, but I must ask. Do you want to live a life without love, without the affection and touch I know you crave?”

              The silence that fell between them was making Jonghyun’s mind wander endlessly. Jinki was just looking at him, eyes flicking over his features, lips slightly parted, but nothing was said for what seemed like forever. When he finally spoke it was after cupping his cheek. “I just don’t want to get caught up in the moment and lose my willpower to stop it before I hurt you.” 

              “You won’t. I won’t let you. I may not fully understand how you feel about your confessing power Jinki, but I can hold you and try my hardest to learn to.” A bright grin spread across Jonghyun’s face, blooming beautifully in the light from the flickering candles around them. “Does this mean you’ll give me, us, a chance?” 

              “We’ll take it slow?”

              “As slow as you need to remain comfortable.” 

              Jinki breathed out deeply, eyes fluttering a little before he smiled, relieved. “Okay. Okay Jonghyunie, I’ll give this a chance.” 

              A soft kiss was pressed to his cheek before Jonghyun pulled away. “Can we return to where we were?” 

              In the end, they were laying in the mounds of pillows, shoulders touching as their hands remained intertwined between them. Their heads were pressed against each other slightly, hair swirling together as they turned toward each other to speak. Soon Jinki would retire to bed and Jonghyun would return to his own room, but until then, they enjoyed each other’s company as they have for almost a year.


End file.
